When I walked out of Planes this past August, I thought there was nothing that could stoop lower than that crummy cartoon. Sure I’ve seen some bad films like The Fifth Estate, Closed Circuit and Riddick, but nothing could be worse than that Cars knock off. Right? Little did I know the usually reliable Sir Ridley Scott would give me biggest shocker on film this year with the downright awful The Counselor.

First off, If I hear the phrase “From the author of No Country for Old Men” as a tagline for a movie, I know to avoid it. Just like No Country for Old Men, The Counselor wanders aimlessly as film with plots, characters and scenes that go nowhere. The Counselor is billed as a thriller, but there are scenes that are reminiscent of American Pie. I’m not exaggerating, Cameron Diaz does things to a car that are hilariously described by Javier Bardem. Other times, The Counselor can be downright gory with beheadings and bullets to the head.

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I couldn’t tell you what The Counselor was about because I’m not sure if the creators behind it knew what they were doing when they made the film. I understand that just like the cash in No Country for Old Men, you’re not following the characters as much as the asset that is causing all these mishaps to occur in The Counselor. I understand The Counselor is about circumstances unfolding and their effects, but it’s just a mess of film that doesn’t know what direction to go in with a star-studded cast including Michael Fassbender, Penélope Cruz and Brad Pitt. Does it want to be an erotic thriller, a crime drama or quirky action click? One thing’s for sure, The Counselor is atrocious. Overall I give The Counselor 0.5 out of 4 potatoes.

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If you’re keeping score at home, that’s the lowest score I have ever given since I’ve been writing for CW44.com. Follow me on Twitter @CW44CouchPotato and become a fan at facebook.com/CW44CouchPotato.

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